Sex Therapy
Sex Therapy for Sexual Shame, Intimacy Concerns, and Relationship Challenges
Sexuality is a normal part of being human. Yet for many people, due to messages they absorbed from family, culture, and religion, it is also a source of anxiety, confusion, shame, self-doubt, or disconnection.
Maybe you grew up receiving messages that sex was dangerous, sinful, or something to fear or feel shame about, as well as something to definitely NOT talk about. Maybe you learned that your body was a temptation, that your desires were a sign of moral failure, or that "good" people weren't supposed to think about sex very much. Maybe you were taught that sex was good and right only when expressed in a very narrow context (cis-gendered heterosexual marriage), and now you find yourself within that context, and it doesn’t feel good and right at all. Or maybe you weren't taught much about sex at all, leaving you to navigate questions about sexuality, intimacy, and relationships on your own.
Whatever the source (family of origin, culture, religion), those messages leave a lasting impact.
You may struggle with sexual shame, difficulty enjoying intimacy, low desire, relationship challenges, body image concerns, questions about sexual identity, or a lingering sense that something is wrong with you because sex doesn't feel as easy or natural as it seems to for everyone else.
You may find yourself caught between what you believe and what you feel. Intellectually, you know there's nothing wrong with having sexual thoughts, desires, needs, or wanting to explore identities that fall outside of the cis-het “norm”. But emotionally, guilt, anxiety, and shame still show up.
Or perhaps you're beginning to realize that old beliefs, past experiences, purity culture, religious trauma, or sexual trauma are continuing to shape your relationship with sexuality in ways that are no longer working for you.
If any of this sounds familiar, you're not alone—and there is nothing wrong with you.
As a sex therapist, I help adults make sense of the messages, experiences, and beliefs that have shaped their relationship with sexuality. Together, we'll explore what's contributing to the shame, confusion, anxiety, or disconnection you're experiencing and work toward a relationship with sexuality that feels more aligned with your values and less driven by fear.
What Is Sex Therapy?
At its core, sex therapy is a space to have conversations that many people have never felt safe enough to have.
For some people, that means talking openly about sexual shame for the first time. For others, it's having a place to sort through questions about desire, intimacy, relationships, identity, pleasure, or the messages they received about sex growing up.
Many of the people I work with spent years feeling like these topics were off-limits. Maybe sex was something that was rarely discussed, only talked about in terms of rules, or surrounded by shame, fear, or judgment. Maybe you were taught what you were supposed to think about sexuality, but never given much space to figure out what you actually think and feel.
Sex therapy creates room for those conversations.
Together, we can explore the beliefs, experiences, relationships, and messages that have shaped your relationship with sexuality. We can look at what you've been taught, how those messages continue to affect you today, and whether they still fit with the person you are now.
Many of my clients come to therapy feeling confused, stuck, disconnected from themselves, or caught between what they were taught and what they actually believe now. Others simply know that something feels difficult around sexuality, intimacy, or relationships but aren't entirely sure why.
You don't need to have everything figured out before you start therapy. You don't need the perfect words to describe what you're experiencing. You just need a place to begin.
Common Reasons People Seek Sex Therapy
People seek sex therapy for many different reasons, including:
Sexual shame and guilt
Recovery from purity culture
Religious trauma and sexuality
Difficulty experiencing pleasure
Anxiety related to intimacy or sexual activity
Low sexual desire
Desire discrepancies in relationships
Difficulty communicating about sex
Body image concerns
Sexual self-esteem issues
Questions about sexual identity
LGBTQ+ identity exploration
Healing from sexual trauma
Relationship and intimacy challenges
Difficulty identifying wants, needs, or boundaries
Internalized messages about sexuality
Fear, anxiety, or avoidance related to sex
You do not need to be experiencing a specific dysfunction or diagnosis to benefit from sex therapy. Many people simply want a healthier, freer, and less shame-based relationship with their sexuality.
Sex Therapy and Religious Trauma
Let’s be honest - purity culture does not prepare people for healthy, connected, shame-free experiences of sexual intimacy. For many of my clients, sexuality cannot be separated from the religious messages they received growing up. High-control religious environments often teach people to fear their desires, distrust their bodies, suppress curiosity, disconnect from pleasure, and view sexuality through the lens of shame.
Even after leaving those belief systems behind, many people continue to experience:
Guilt about sexual thoughts or desires
Anxiety around intimacy and pleasure
Difficulty identifying personal values around sexuality
Fear of being "too much" or "not enough"
Internal conflict between sexuality and spirituality
Shame related to sexual orientation or gender identity
Difficulty experiencing pleasure without shame
These experiences are common among survivors of religious trauma and spiritual abuse. If you're still unpacking the impact of harmful religious teachings, you may also benefit from learning more about my Religious Trauma Therapy services.
Many people wonder whether religious trauma can affect sexuality years after leaving a faith tradition. The answer is yes. Messages about purity, temptation, gender roles, sexual orientation, and desire can continue shaping relationships, intimacy, and self-perception long after someone stops believing them.
LGBTQ+ Affirming Sex Therapy
Many LGBTQ+ individuals have received messages—both religious and cultural—that taught them their identities, attractions, or relationships were wrong.
Those experiences can create lasting wounds involving shame, self-doubt, fear of rejection, and difficulty feeling fully at home in one's body and identity.
My approach to sex therapy is fully LGBTQ+ affirming.
Whether you are exploring your identity, healing from internalized shame, navigating relationships, or working to untangle harmful messages you received about sex and sexuality, therapy can provide a supportive space to explore those experiences without judgment.
My Approach to Sex Therapy
My approach to sex therapy is collaborative, trauma-informed, and sex-positive.
Most people don't arrive in therapy with a clear roadmap for what they need. They just know that something feels difficult.
Maybe you feel disconnected from your body. Maybe intimacy brings up anxiety. Maybe you're carrying shame around desire, struggling to communicate your needs, or trying to untangle messages about sexuality that no longer fit with who you are.
Wherever you're starting from, we'll begin there.
Rather than jumping straight into solutions, I believe it's important to first understand the story. How and what did you learn about sex, relationships, desire, and your body? What messages did you receive growing up? What experiences shaped the way you think and feel about sexuality today?
Together, we might explore:
The messages you learned about sex, desire, and relationships growing up
Where shame, guilt, anxiety, or self-criticism entered the picture
The impact of purity culture, religious trauma, family dynamics, or cultural expectations
What it's like for you to experience intimacy, desire, pleasure, and connection
What you want, value, and need—apart from what you've been told you should want
We may also spend time building skills around communication, boundaries, self-compassion, and learning how to identify and express your needs more clearly.
For many people, this is the first time they've had a space to talk openly about sexuality without worrying about being judged, corrected, or told what they should believe.
And just as importantly, there's no single "right" way to experience sexuality. There's no correct level of desire. No universal timeline. No one-size-fits-all version of intimacy or relationships.
My goal isn't to help you fit someone else's expectations. It's to help you better understand yourself so you can make choices about sexuality, relationships, and intimacy that feel aligned with your values, your needs, and the life you want to build.
Frequently Asked Questions About Sex Therapy
What is sex therapy?
Sex therapy is a specialized form of therapy that helps people address concerns related to sexuality, intimacy, desire, relationships, sexual identity, and sexual well-being. At its core, it is a space to have conversations that many people have never felt safe enough to have. It provides a safe, nonjudgmental space to explore the emotional, relational, cultural, and psychological factors that may be impacting your relationship with sexuality.
Can sex therapy help with sexual shame?
Yes. Sexual shame is one of the most common reasons people seek sex therapy. Many individuals carry messages that taught them their desires, bodies, attractions, or sexual needs were wrong, dangerous, or something to be controlled or hidden. Together, we can explore where those beliefs came from, how they continue to affect your life, and how to build a healthier, more compassionate relationship with your sexuality.
Can sex therapy help with purity culture recovery?
Absolutely. Many people who grew up in purity culture continue to experience shame, anxiety, guilt, and confusion around sexuality long after leaving those belief systems behind. You may intellectually reject those messages while still feeling their impact emotionally or physically. Sex therapy can help you untangle those beliefs and develop a relationship with sexuality that feels authentic rather than fear-based.
Is sex therapy LGBTQ+ affirming?
Yes. I provide LGBTQ+ affirming therapy and welcome clients of all sexual orientations, gender identities, and relationship structures. Whether you're exploring your identity, healing from shame, navigating relationships, or working through the impact of harmful religious messages, therapy can provide a supportive space where all parts of you are respected and affirmed.
Do I need to be in a relationship to benefit from sex therapy?
Not at all. Many people seek sex therapy as individuals. Therapy can help you better understand yourself and your relationship with sexuality regardless of your relationship status. In fact, many people find that exploring these concerns on their own helps them build greater self-awareness, self-trust, and confidence before entering or deepening relationships.
Is sex therapy only for people experiencing sexual problems?
No. Many people seek sex therapy not because something is "wrong," but because they want a healthier relationship with sexuality. Therapy can help you explore identity, heal shame, improve communication, deepen self-understanding, clarify your values, or better understand your desires, boundaries, and needs. You do not need a diagnosis or specific sexual concern to benefit from sex therapy.
I provide online sex therapy for adults located in California, Florida, Missouri, and Idaho.
Online therapy allows you to explore sensitive and personal topics—like sexual shame, intimacy concerns, desire differences, relationship challenges, or questions about sexuality—from a space where you feel comfortable and grounded. Many people actually find it easier to talk about these experiences from home, especially when they’ve spent years feeling like they had to keep these parts of themselves private or hidden.
You might have landed on this page because sex feels complicated, awkward, or uncomfortable in a way you can’t quite put into words. Maybe there’s anxiety, guilt, disconnection, or a sense that your experience of sexuality doesn’t match what you thought it “should” be. Or maybe you’re realizing that messages from religion, purity culture, past relationships, family upbringing, or culture are still shaping how you experience intimacy today.
All of that is welcome here.
This is a space for adults who want to understand their sexuality with more clarity, less shame, and more self-compassion, and to live as a more embodied sexual being. Whether you're working through religious trauma, recovering from purity culture, navigating changes in desire or relationship structure, or trying to feel more at ease in relationships, therapy can support you in finding a way forward that is authentic to you.
You don’t have to already have the language for what you’re experiencing to begin. We can figure it out together.
If you’re ready, I invite you to schedule a free consultation below to see if sex therapy feels like a good fit for you.
Sex Therapy in California, Florida, Idaho, and Missouri
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