What an adolescent’s coming out taught me about queerness, healing religious trauma, and the opposing feelings of joy and grief that can surface during Pride Month.

Even after deconstructing harmful theology, many survivors still feel inherently “bad.” This post explores how the doctrine of original sin wires in shame—and how to begin healing from it.

High control religion often teaches that suffering is either your fault—or somehow makes you more holy. In this post, I share how those beliefs shaped my own story and how they show up in therapy with religious trauma survivors. If pain has ever felt like something you deserved, you're not alone—and you're not beyond healing.

If you grew up in a high-control religious environment, you may have heard a story like this: During a time of war, a group of Christians is hiding together, quietly praying. Armed soldiers burst in and demand that anyone who follows Jesus stand up…

Recently I was reminded of a teaching in high control religion that goes something like this: On Judgment Day, your entire life would be played back like a movie for all the world to see, and every thought, mistake, and secret sin would be exposed. Sound terrifying? It was!

Believing that someone I loved could be eternally damned — and that it was my responsibility to prevent it — was an immense emotional weight.  This toxic message instilled in me a sense of hyper-responsibility for others, which (unfortunately) didn't just magically disappear…

When I was in my mid 20s (and still very much in high control religion), I worked as a program staffer at a Christian retreat center in northern Wisconsin. 

Ever find yourself spiraling into self-blame over a simple everyday experience? You're not alone. Dive into my recent experience at the library to uncover how internalized shame from high control religion can sneak into everyday moments and learn ways to combat it.

Sounds like the start of a joke, right? That’s what I thought when I wrote the title for this week’s blog post (i.e. “A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar…”). For those of you that follow me on Instagram, you know that I recently was on vacation…

If the pain, depression, and anxiety related to your religious trauma have been steering the ship for awhile, it can be difficult to imagine how anything could help…

As we celebrate this significant time of the year, I wanted to share some thoughts and reflections from my perspective as a queer-identifying religious trauma therapist…

Making new friends after leaving your faith community is HARD. Churches are often marketed as second families, and the longer you spend in a faith community, the deeper those familial bonds and attachments grow. The loss of that community…

Years ago when I was still in high control religion, I remember being at a worship gathering that I was involved in (yes, former worship leader here!) where a time of intercessory prayer had started…

Learn about religious trauma symptoms like triggered reactions, internalized shame, avoidance of pleasure, and constant vigilance against sin.

I remember from my time in conservative evangelicalism that anger was categorized as a sin, and often religious texts were used to back up that belief.  Anger was described as being bad and wrong…

If you grew up in high control religion, you likely heard messages about sexual purity, gender roles, and what defines holiness when it comes to sex, dating, and relationships…