How Religious Trauma Survivors Heal: Patterns I See Again and Again as a Therapist
Healing from religious trauma is rarely straightforward. There’s no single path or timeline, and it doesn’t look the same for everyone. But after years of working with survivors of high-control religion, spiritual abuse, and purity culture, I’ve noticed some patterns that show up again and again in recovery. These aren’t prescriptive ways to heal—they’re practical, tangible ways survivors can reclaim agency, safety, and self-trust, and gain momentum on their journey of healing from religious trauma.
If you’ve left a high-control religious environment, or you’re in the process of deconstructing your faith, these are the kinds of steps that can help you feel more grounded, embodied, and alive in your day-to-day life.
1. Reconnecting With the Body After High-Control Religion
High-control religious environments often teach a profound mind-body split. Many survivors were told, explicitly or implicitly, that:
Desire should be suppressed
Physical sensations don’t matter
Emotions should be overridden
Spiritual obedience matters more than bodily reality
Over time, this disconnection can leave survivors feeling numb, disconnected, or unsafe in their own bodies. Reconnecting with your body is often the first step toward rebuilding self-trust.
Practical Ways to Reconnect With Your Body
Gentle yoga, stretching, or slow movement
Walking while noticing physical sensations
Dancing
Strength training, swimming, or recreational sports
Breathwork or grounding exercises
Simply observing hunger, fatigue, tension, or comfort
The goal isn’t fitness—it’s attunement. Noticing:
“I’m tired.”
“I feel tense.”
“This feels good.”
“Something feels off.”
Body awareness is foundational for healing after religious trauma.
2. Building New Community After Leaving Religion
Leaving a high-control religious environment often means losing more than belief—it means losing community, routine, and belonging. Healing often includes intentionally building new relationships in spaces free from hierarchical control or judgment.
What Healthy Community Looks Like
Interest-based rather than belief-based
Flexible instead of all-consuming
Mutual instead of hierarchical
Ways to Begin
Meetup groups or hobby-based gatherings
Book clubs, writing groups, or creative classes
Recreational sports leagues
Volunteering in secular or queer-affirming spaces
The goal is not instant closeness—it’s safe, low-pressure connection that respects boundaries and autonomy and allows friendships to develop organically over time.
3. Reclaiming Play and Pleasure
High-control religion often teaches that:
Joy serves a higher purpose
Many survivors realize they don’t know how to play—or feel guilty when they do. Healing often involves reclaiming play for its own sake.
Examples
Hobbies with no spiritual or moral meaning
Creative projects without an audience
Games, puzzles, or crafts
Humor, spontaneity, and silliness
Play helps regulate the nervous system and reconnects survivors with curiosity, flexibility, and enjoyment—qualities often suppressed in high-control environments.
4. Establishing Personal Rituals and Routines
After leaving high-control religion, many survivors feel untethered. Without the rigid schedules and rituals of their former faith community, daily life can feel disorienting. Healing often involves creating personal rituals and routines that restore structure and safety—without the pressure of moral judgment.
Practical Ways to Start
Morning or evening routines that feel grounding (coffee ritual, journaling, stretching)
Mindful movement or meditation at the same time each day
Weekly “self-check-in” time to notice needs, emotions, and energy levels
Celebrating small wins or milestones in your healing journey
The goal is stability and self-connection, rather than control or perfection.
5. Engaging in Creative Expression
High-control religion often limits creative outlets or frames them as frivolous. Healing involves reconnecting with creativity as a form of expression, exploration, and emotional processing.
Practical Ways to Reclaim Creativity
Journaling thoughts and feelings without editing
Painting, drawing, or crafting for fun, not productivity
Playing music, singing, or experimenting with sound
Cooking or baking with intention, exploring flavors and textures
Writing letters to yourself or even fictional characters to process experiences
Creative expression helps survivors process emotions, reclaim agency, and experience joy without moral restriction.
Healing From Religious Trauma Is Not Linear
There is no “correct order” of recovery.
Some survivors reconnect with their body first
Others build community first
Some begin with letting themselves pursue something creative
Healing is not about doing everything “right.” It’s about moving toward embodiment, agency, and connection—at your own pace.
A Final Note for Survivors
Insight alone rarely brings lasting relief. Healing occurs when:
Your body feels safe
Your relationships feel less conditional
Your life begins to feel like it truly belongs to you
These are things that can be built intentionally and gradually.
If you’re a survivor of religious trauma or spiritual abuse, know that healing is possible—and it doesn’t have to happen all at once. Reconnecting with your body, building supportive community, reclaiming play, establishing personal rituals, and exploring creativity are all practical steps you can start today to rebuild your sense of safety, agency, and joy.
If you want guidance as you navigate this process, I’m currently accepting new clients in California, Florida, and Missouri. Request a free consultation below to learn more about working together and taking intentional steps toward your healing journey.